the world of love defies logic. haha heart rules over head, emotions might win the day. but the head thinks, and imagines many kinds of scenarios that are scary and unpleasant. and so mixed signals and feelings are born. making the world even more complicated than it already is.

scared that you might read too much into a simple gesture, a simple sms, scared that the feeling doesnt last, scared that the person is only testing the waters, scared that people take love for a game, scared that in the end, you lose a friend.

i think that being my friend is more fortunate than being my boyfriend, cause i tend to treat my friends better, less tantrums, less mood swings. cause i believe now that my friends are meant to be kept forever, those few that i keep close to my heart, since they've already been here by me for so long. but i'm unsure about the longevity of my relationships.

and then i realise, i dont address my friends dear often.. so is my dear aka my boyfriend more important to me when i'm attached? and i wonder, how can someone who just entered my life for a few months become more important than friends who've been around for years? when in love, is it only me, or does everyone change their priorities?

i've always ranked family, friends, boyfriend. but now i'm not sure anymore.

i've learnt not to have high expectations of my boyfriend. not referring to how much money he has, how handsome he is, how tall etc etc. i mean that i will not expect my boyfriend to always be finely attuned to my needs. i will not expect him to always be there for me. sounds sad ar? haha no lehz, if you really think about it. as one half of a couple in a relationship, he is mine. but i got to be sensitive to his life too. i cant expect him to drop everything just to accompany me, i cant expect him to drop all the stuff he used to do before i entered his world. i cant expect 26 hours from him everyday. anybody would get tired.

and if i really expect so much from my boyfriend, i think there will inevitably be times when he fails, and then i will be unhappy. so why expect so much? less expectations equal more surprises. isnt it? =)

one expectation though, that is a must-have. honesty. i shall learn to talk openly and truthfully, not disguising my unhappiness, not pretending to be ok when i really feel like shit that quarrels arise. learn to talk, and not shut my emotions in. otherwise things will just build up and become worse. i learnt this from evan, though she is slightly extreme. haha=p

i learnt that sad times are equally important, if not more important, than happy times. resolving issues well are a way of bonding; it draws the couple closer, and it adds to their foundation.

ok.. i shall go talk to my biochem.. enough of my rubbish blabbering.. haha